Hiding is an illusion (part 2)
So why is hiding an illusion? And why should you stop?
Maybe it’s worked so far. You’ve kept the ‘creative-you’ a secret, tucked away for you and perhaps a select few, a quiet affair that no-one need to know about. It’s fine.
In my early years of spiritual training as a would-be New Age devotee, one of my first and still wisest Spiritual teachers shocked me with her very non pious response to a fellow student when she described herself as doing fine. “You mean F***ed-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional? Oh, I know all about that…”
Damn. She wasn’t just talking about my fellow student. She could see right through us, what we thought was nicely tied up and hidden behind our various masks of control.
And that is why we often stuff it down, isn’t it? Trying to maintain control, to move away from the chaos of our feelings, impulses and more vulnerable parts of ourselves. While I’m all for self-dominion of ones emotions, especially when it comes to projecting onto others, a lot of what we stuff down is the nuggets of our expression.
So while we put a lot of energy just trying to keep it all together, what are we really keeping from getting out? What about the good stuff? The genuis? Our unique gift that only we are here to share?!
It has been my experience that often it is often easier to see the potential in others then ourselves. Even if they have low self esteem, somehow it seeps under the cracks of those closed doors, unable to hold back its slivers of brilliance. Do you think you are any different? No matter what level of creative wellness you are at, your Voice is more present then you probably realize. It will do whatever it can to get out there despite your efforts otherwise.
Consider it, what is really under the surface that would love to get out? What would be the worst thing if it did?
As an exercise, ask your closest friends to describe you as a creator or artist and see what they say, you may be more transparent then you think….